and maybe someday,

i could finally say, 

"this time, i got it right.."

STRANGE FACTS.

* there`s always a little truth behind every "JUST KIDDING".

* a little knowledge behind every "I DON'T KNOW"

* a little emotion behind every "I DON'T CARE"

* a little pain behind every "IT'S OK"

so remember what you see and what you hear 

is not what you always get.

BF Potential surv.

 so i stumbled into this survey in FB
and although i was never really into this kind of stuff
i was very much intrigued with this surv so
i give in..here are my answers.


1.is being handsome a must?
* ahmm..not really..but it's a factor. of course
we want our babies to come from good genes here ayt? haha..

2. smart?
* definitely.

3. preferred Age?
* hmm..3-5 yrs. older than me is the max..1-2 yrs. younger than me is the min ((:

4. preferred height?
* of course, taller than me.

5. How about sense of humor?
* yah think?! haha..of course this is a must.

6. How about piercings?
* hmm..depends if he looks good with them on.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
* hell to the yeah.

8. Pink hair?
* what?! definitely a no-no! what d hell r u thinking?!

9. mushy or no?
* hmm..a bit will do.. hehe.

10. Thin or fat?
* i usually go for the skinny boys
but chubby ones will do..maybe.depends.

11. Moreno(dark) or chinito or mestizo?
* hmm..chinito but moreno..hehe ((:

12. Long hair or short hair?
* whatever suits him.

13. Plastic or metal?
* huh??!

14. Smells good?
* OF COURSE.

15. Smoker?
* nope. na-ah.
16. Drinker?
* hmm..occasionally. only if he's with me
or he'll tell me prior to the "session".

17. Boy-next-door type?
* hmm..will do. not really concern with the type..so, yea.

18. Musically inclined?
* hell yeah.

19. Plays piano?
* yes, i'd like that. but i love guitarists too ((: much more a vocalist.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar
* yeah.

21. Plays violin?
* haha..hmm..if he loves playing vio then, y not.
it's like havin Ji Hoo for a bf..weew.

22. Sings very good?
* what?! are you crazy? of course..yeah.

23. Vain?
* definitely a no-no. amma punch him if he is.

24. With glasses?
* hmm..u mean a geeky glass? well, as long as he's got the brains to match it.

25. With braces?
* nope.

26. Shy type?
* yeah.

27. Rebel or good boy?
* a rebel with a cause.

28. Active or passive?
* hmm..not really getting this.
maybe both, depends on what's he's active or passive for.

29. tight or bomb?
* huh?!

30. Singer or dancer?
* both.

31. conceited?
* NO.

32. Hiphop?
* hmm..nah, maybe not.

33. Earrings?
* i told u already right?! as long as he looks good with them on. duh?

35. dull or stupid?
* double duh?! major NO. duh? agen.

36. Mr. count-my-ex-girlfriends-un

til-you-drop?
* haha..wat?! oh maybe not.

37. Dimples?
* yeeees! :D

38. Bookworm?
* yep..DEFINITELY. i am starting to be one so it'll be best if he is.

39. Mr. love letter?
* if he exists..haha! i'd like a guy like that.

40. stubborn?
* a little won't hurt.

41. Flirt?
* major NO! only if he does it with me though..hmmm.. :|

42. Poem writer?
* sure. as long as he writes for me.

43. Serious?
* a bit.

44. Campus crush?
* hmmm, that would really be hard on my part but yeah, sure, whatever.

45. Painter ..?
* hmmm..a pianist, a guitarist, a vocalist,
a vioinist (is this correct?) and now a painter?! weew! talented much?!
haha. but yea, watever he loves to do.

46. Religious?
* nope, spiritual, yeah. as long as he has FAITH.

47. comedian?
* hmmp..no.

48. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
* both?!

49. Speaks 20 languages?
* can we lower that down to like 3-5?! haha..

50. Loyal o faithful?
* can he be one but not the other?! duh.

im currently hooked with fb's FARMVILLE..yea, nakiuso na rin ako..lol! i admit i was pretty much  a huge anti `bout the the gaming stuff on FB. I thought it was just plain stupid to waste all your time and energy just playing coz for me it was almost like..doing nothing. And of course it would also mean a waste of money for people who don't have their own PC or laptop..like me. But earlier this afternoon, i thought that i oughta give it a try so i played and that's when the magic happens..lol. I was hooked. It was actually fun to have your own make-believe farm and be able to plant and raise farm animals..i got three sheeps, a cow, a rabit and a horse! haha..soo cool. Of course, i`m just starting so my farm still looks a bit plain but ahmm..it will progress..lol!  here's a peek:

how could you turn and just go?
when i'm here standing so cold
now you wanna work it out
tell me what's that all about?
how could you up and move on
like what you have for me is gone?
now you wanna work it out..
--BACK INTO YOU, AMBER DAVIS

so i thought yesterday was like all the ordinary days. nothing unusual. nada.zero.zilch. i put on my face and was really ready to get through the day. i checked my fone to see if there are sensible messages. yea, i usually get nonsense GM`s. And btw, to all airheads out there who don't know what GM means..it stands for group message. got it? ok. So where was i? oh yeah. So i checked up my fone and got a bit irritated when i received a message from i-don`t-know-who and so of course it was an unknown digits. it read "mai?". huh?! that's weird. how on earth did this effin unidentified whatever knew my name? so i texted back, " kinsa ni?" [translation: who u?!]. i sent it twice. after a few minutes it replied saying " aw wla lang, senxa! " [translation: oh nothing, sorry!]. so even if i was irritated i felt guilty for being such a snob. i thought if he [yea, i assumed he was a guy] knows my name then he must be a friend, right? so i was like texting him several messages asking him to reveal his identity. But i was sooo disappointed when he didnt replied to any of my messages.

Afternoon came. i was still bothered by his identity. i kept guessing who could he be because i thought his digits were familiar and then it hit me. my heartbeat started racing as i typed his name on my fone screen..."Rex?". I felt a sudden rush of nostalgia. the memories came rushing back into my head all at once. the movie house..me rushing to meet him..the mall..everything. and then the hurt. the pain of being left hanging. it all came vividly.

08.17.09. i first met him at the mall. he said he wanted to go see a movie. He was a gentleman or so i thought. it never really mattered to me if he was not the good-looking guy i expected my textmate to be. it was way far from love at first sight but i did feel a bit of giddiness. i don't exactly remember what movie we did watched but i do remember him being so nice to say "two tickets ma'am, please" to the lady who sells the tickets. i thought, awww..so sweet of him. And on we went to see the movie inside. We were not able to really concentrate on the movie `coz we were busy with each other. haha! yea, he was not exactly a gentleman but i`d rather not spill out the details here. i`d rather that you keep guessing and make those dirty minds of yours itch.

three days after, more or less. we went to see another movie. we talked, we laughed, we cuddled..blah blah blah..so yah that was about it. Moving on. So at that time, he's fone was broken and it has to be repaired so basically, he can't use it and that would only mean that our communication would be cut off for a while. i just didn't know how long. so that day, we parted ways and even after a few seconds of being away from him, i already got the feeling of missing someone. God, i`m falling for the guy.

it's been a week since the last time i was with him at that moviehouse. i started to wonder that it was weird that he still wasn't texting me because for sure his fone would have been repaired already. i started assuming things but shrugging them away thinking that there must be some really good explaination behind his absence. But another week has past and i was running out of reasons to justify his ways. I was starting to get frustrated about the situation. How could he bear not to see me or even text me to just check if i was ok or if i was even still alive. i even sent him a message on friendster.It took me another week to figured out that he was really avoiding me. Jerk! He didn't even have the balls to tell me right in the face that he doesn't want me anymore. Stupid pig! just plain stupid. The raw truth would have hurt less than to leave me guessing what went wrong.

although i was really hurt that time,and believe me, it felt like i was hit by a bus right in the face or was submerged into the coldest of the coldest part of Antartica, i managed to move on with my life like nothing happened. i haven't shed a single tear and i owe it all to my never-ending painful experiences i've already gone through in my life. sometimes, when you're used to losing significant people in the past, losing someone significant in the present seems to be not much of a big deal anymore. so losing him was..how should i say this, ahmmmm not worth crying for.

And now, here he is again after four weeks. just when i am about to finish picking up the pieces of my, of all the cliches, broken heart. And i'm afraid to say that i still have a thing for him. Just thinking of his smart ways to say or do things, how he makes me laugh and how those eyes stare as if his seeing right through me, as if he figures me out. God help me but i could really fall for all these again. I could fall for him again. well maybe, just maybe. `Coz the last thing i need right now is reiterating my mistakes.

He did tell me that he was really sorry for being such a jerk and yah, he did admit that it was entirely his fault. He even asked me this stupid question "i have nothing to get back to, right?"..i thought " yah think?! "..haha! right now we are still sorting out things and i must say that he makes it much harder `coz he's really the type who doesn't want to talk about things and explaining himself soo, yeah. But i was very forgiving to him, really. I just think that friendship could still work between us. And of course, i still wanna be with him but not the same as before. So that was about my lovelife..haha! (:


tata for now.