p.s i'm still not over you.

i just sent him a message on facebook to tell him everything i thought i should say. i thought about it last night as i listen to song TONGUE TIED over and over and over again. i figured that since i'm cutting off the bridge i should might as well not left it hanging. i just hope i won't regret sending him a message. I just don't want things in me to be left unsaid. he oughtta know how i feel. maybe some of you may think that i sent it just because i'm still hoping that maybe he'd realize what he was losing and that it will make him come to me. well, NO. i guess that "letter" was just my way of saying goodbye. just a way of forgiving myself for not being loved by the one person i care about the most. that message was my way of putting it all behind me..

..and hopefully i'd be able to move on now.

there's beauty in walking away.

if you have read my previous posts, you would certainly know that i'm still  NOT OVER my ex yet. when i write about him, i don't make it sound like he`s a total jerk (when he actually is!) maybe because i am just crazy about him. I wasn't really ready to move on and just forget everything about him and what we had. it's been three months since we broke up but the truth is, i'm still hoping that we could figure things out and that he is still into me. I'm still clinging to the thought that he's just afraid to have a serious relationship again because he was hurt before and that he's just not ready to commit yet. But for the past few weeks that i`ve been "stalking" him on his facebook, i've come to realize that i was just assuming things. He's moved on and has no plans of getting back with me. As i've shared in my previous post, he is already fixated on this girl he fondly call's his "property". but earlier when i was checking his facebook wall again, i felt numb staring at the picture of the girl. He bought her in ffs. now he calls her "moy". i checked his ffs profile and i felt like crying. the girl is not his pet owner at the moment but he's prof was captioned "moy's". i felt like my world was about to explode. this caption only means that he was hers and that all the hopes are gone for me. he's not coming back. i just feel so sad right now because i hoped that we will be together again and i thought he just needed the time to sort his feelings out for me. but then again, you can't always have what you are hoping for.

and now that he has his eyes set on someone new , i think it'd be better if i walk away cause it cuts me to the core knowing that he's got another chick that he's crazy about. given that, i removed him in my FB friends. :[

i just have to cut all the bridges that connect me to him. i deleted his fone digits from my fonebook. i fought the urge to NOT memorize his new fone no. [i used to memorize the old one]..

hopefully this will help me move on.

and if we really are meant to be for each other, i believe that he will find his way back to me..without me doing all the effort.

this may sound like a sad ending for what could have been my greatest love story but i`m glad that i went through all these. i`m glad that i had him..even for a short while.

and i certainly learned my lesson.

p.s: i just want to share something about what i have learned from my bestfriend about love:

..love is not something you search or wait for, it's something that will just come to you when you least expect it. so don't search. don't expect. just let love find you. 

random of ramdoms.

 i am easily pissed off lately. i don't know why exactly but i'm guessing that this is the aftermath of not to talking to the One up there lately. don't get me wrong here my dear fellas, i have absolutely nothing against God but i just can't bring myself to talk to Him right now. Let's just say..i'm not in the mood. Maybe i`m just being too lazy or just feeling really indifferent. arrrgh. i just hope He understands. :|

i just feel so alone, insecure and indifferent these past few days. arrrrrrgh! Stress can really be such a monster sometimes.

i was able to watch Stephen King`s THE MIST the other day. i must say that this is definitely a must-see movie. Here's a synopsis:

A powerful thunderstorm unleashes a mist that envelops a small Maine town. Dozens are trapped inside a supermarket knowing that in the mist are horrible creatures which feed on humans. Being stranded takes its psychological toll. The trapped shoppers split into 2 camps: those who believe it is an act of a vengeful god who demands human sacrifice and those don't. Based on a rather long short story by Stephen King, long considered one of his scariest. (www.imdb.com)

    

 i swear this film has the most unexpected, shocking and ironic ending ever. i just really felt bad for the people.

My boyfriend and i had our 1st monthsary yesterday! yaay! :D But unfortunately, we were not together to do something special about it. He's in my hometown and it's a three-hour drive from where i am at (CDO city) so we can't really see each other just like that. But it's totally fine with me. i mean, i also want our monthsary to be something special but i just feel so indifferent. TBH, i am having doubts about my feelings towards him. Silly ey? not to mention plain stupid to be with a guy you don't really love. He's nice and all but i just can't find myself to love him. This is the it's-not-you-it's me drama in a relationship. i know it's my fault. i just have this tendency to jump fast into a relationship even if i haven't sorted out my feelings for the guy yet. Don't get me wrong here okay? i am not a slut or something. it's just that i love the thought of having a boyfriend so i say yes to a guy on impulse. But i'm kinda loyal okay? i don't collect and select. i stick to one. But when i already have a guy i can call mine, it's only when i realize that he's not really my type (meaning, he doesn't fit in my standards) or that i simply just don't belong with him. And it's always too late to back out because the guy is already into me and then i start to feel guilty because i know it would totally break his heart if i call the relationship off. believe me, i had a couple of guys crying for me (i`m  not bragging, mind you). and i get scared sometimes because karma may just be around the bend waiting to get me. lalala.  not to mention, i`m still not over my ex. arrrrrgh! i just can't deal with this right now but i hope i can figure things out soon. i think this is just a case of a love bipolar. :|

when stupidity strikes.

so i was trying several themes from www.blogskins.com to see if i could actually use one for my blog here. I wanted something that would make my blog page simple yet astig. So i tried on some themes, pasted them on the html box of the template but it seemed that there's always an "error" with the code and so tried to figure out what's wrong. I saw this link below the html box : REVERT TO CLASSIC TEMPLATE. So a pop out window appeared saying that if i revert, changes will not be retrieve or something like that. I clicked on the ok button. I tried again other themes and yes, it worked! But stupid me, i was not able to save a copy of the codes of my last template so basically my LINKS are gone too! T.T

so, to my deareast & awesomest linkies..if you happen to stumble on my blog page again, kindly drop your URLs on my cbox so that i may relink you, ok? i sincerely apologize for my stupidity.

does a past really mean..it's over?

Here i am again. i thought i am soo close to being over him. i`m soo dead wrong. For the first time ever, i cried for the effin jerk who had the guts to break my heart over and over and over again. i never cried for him before (when he totally left me hangin! ) but today was, let's just say, different. just a simple pm from him sent my heart down into the drain. It went like this:

R: ga..(then a link..)
help xa ffs b.

ME: (feelin all giddy..)
lols. oki. (then i clicked on the link..)

..done!

(no reply.)

..yah..as usual he did not reply after he got what he wanted. typical him. the worst part about this roller coaster ride with him is that it makes me feel empty and alone and it's been like months (i`m guessing three). yah, sounds like your girl here is bitter right? well guess what..i am! i thought i could just hide the pain but the truth just hit me right in the face..i am still into him like hell. i pretended like i am not anymore but today..i come clean.i still want him so bad and i miss him sooo much and i`d do anything just to have him right beside me. But i guess it`s really too late. He already has his eyes set on this girl he fondly calls ABC and his "property"!

.. i even cried myself to sleep last night. i have all these gazillion questions running through my mind.

..what happened?

..did i do something wrong to make him go away?

..does he even care?

..did he really meant what he texted me?

..i thought he wanted to give it another shot coz he thinks it's a mistake leaving me. Where is he now?

..is he into that girl?

..are we even friends?

..and blah..blah..blah..

..argggggh! this is killing me. it drives me crazy thinking what has happened and what could have happened given a different circumstance and i mean..if i haven't sent all those stupid and at-times-fake GMs.

..he's all i have ever wanted and although we only had each other for so short a time, i am sure as hell that i love him.

..it's just so hard to move on when all that i ever think about are the memories we made and all those things he said. I just hate the thought of losing him..even as a friend. But he`s just soo far away from me. He always keeps his distance from me like i have some sort of a disease or something. It seems like the mere mention of me freaks him out (or maybe im just exaggerating). BUT, he still calls me "ga". arggggghhhhh! screw this.

..people tell me to move on because this only means that he doesn't want me anymore or that he's just not worth it..heck! what do you know? easy for you to say `cause you haven't known him. he`s the best that i ever had. just like katy perry`s song goes.. how do i get better once i`ve had the best?

..i just wish he`d stop being a mannequin and just see me. :l

flicks.

so i was able to watched New Moon last Sat with my sis and uncle.

the twilight saga was nice. some scenes were breathtaking but some were heartbreaking.

i just hated how Bella dumped Jacob. arggh! he was such a nice guy to her. he was her comfort when stupid Edward left her. But i understand her anyway. Sana akin na lang si Jacob! lol.

some of my friends who have read the book (and watched the movie as well) said that the movie was kinda bitin and some parts of the story were basically "cut". Oh well, i enjoyed the movie nonetheless. haha! XD

i also watched 2012 yesterday and i was basically screaming the whole time..ok, almost! the movie was superb so i recommend that you MUST check it out..lol! Although, i don't think that this is gonna happen like for real. hehe.

..tata! (:

i am soooo back!

i soo miss blogging so i'm back here and i promise to post as often as i can. weee.

hay naku. di pa ako nakakapag-update ng blog ko samantalang marami ng kababalaghan ang nangyari sa buhay ko since hallowen. naku! tinatamad lang talaga ako kaya pagpasensyahan nyo nah, okey? yaan nyo. ikukwento ko rin ang mga ka-ek-ekang nangyari. ma-showbiz. haha! tinatamad lang talaga ako. :(

i lab school. --naman! haha. :D

really speaks huh?

 okey, so nakita ko lang to sa tumblr page ni BECS and i thought that i ought to rip this up and repost this here :D wala lang. naka-relate ang lola nyo. Eh kasi naman, i`m starting to fall for my guy bestfriend. hayyyyyy. ewan. ayokoooooo! but i think naman he feels the same way. Even before i started to have this weird feelings towards him. i THINK lang naman ha? assuming din naman ako minsan. haha. Dunno really. He's sending mixed signals.

I'm just effin scared that i might get too attached to him kasi he's gonna leave, eventually. He's planning to go to Korea daw para magtrabaho. May passport na nga siya..huhu. Just thinking bout it right now makes me feel soo sick. Mawawalan na ako ng bestfriend. huhuhu. ayyyy, ewan talaga. just don`t wanna think about this right now.i`m just really scared.

pahinging signal.

pucha. di ako makapag-facebook ng matino. ang hina naman kasi ng connection sa internet dito sa`min. tsk! nakakainissss. grrrrrrrr. kumusta na kaya yung pet kong si memoi..huhu. sigurado akong nilalangaw na naman `yun. kasi naman eh.

wala rin akong masyadong ginagawa at sa totoo lang BAGOT BAGOT NA PO AKO! hindi na `ko makapaghintay na pasukan na ulit. hehe. andami ko ng gustong gawin. lalala. uo, balak ko ng mag-aral talaga ng mabuti. as in yung tipong nagte-take down ng notes, hindi nagbo-boyfriend at kontento na sa pa-crush-crush lang, uuwi ng maaga at gagawin lahat ng assignments bago mag facebook, at higit sa lahat makinig sa mga klase at saka lang magti-text pag tapos nah! hahaha. seryosong edukasyon muna mga pards.

pru di nga..ang hina talaga ng connection..huhu.

adik na talaga ako sa world wide web. ewan ko ba. gusto ko na nga magkaroon ng sarili kong laptop (ambisyosa!). Balang-araw, haha! Yan talaga una kong bibilhin pag nakapag-trabaho na `ko. O di kaya eh pag may naloko na akong foreigner sa internet. hahaha! :P naman! (may ganun?!).

siyanga pala. tumataba na ako dito. waaaaa. eh kasi naman po ang nanay ko eh walang limit pagdating sa pagkain. Basta pagdating diyan, eh nako..talagang hindi kami pinagdadamutan. hehe. napagkakamalan na tuloy akong buntis :( yung tiyan ko lang kasi lumalaki. haayyyy. ewan.

bored to death na talaga ako dito. yung bestfriend ko naman na nasa cdeo, bigla na lagn nawawala pag nagtitext kami. nakakairita minsan. kaya ako naman itong si gaga. emote ng emote kasi nga walang nagtitext. huhu. umiyak pa ako. naks! EMOOOO!

hayyyyy...konting tiis na lang. makakabalik din ako sa sibilisasyon.waaaah! :D

..harvesting time..buti na lang nag load ang farmville. weeee..sinuswerte pa rin naman ang lola nyo.

home sweet home.

weeeeeee! be going back to my hometown, GINGOOG city :D.FYI, it's a three-hour drive from where i`m studying which is at Xavier University-Ateneo de Cagayan here in Cagayan de Oro City. i really miss my dear hometown and of course my friends there, who btw, i've been dying to see after like six months. yeah, i don't visit there often. magastos din kasi `cause of the fare. but now, i`ll be spending my sem break there so i`m really excited cause it's been like forever since i last visited them. i just wonder if they miss me too...hmm.

i really love my hometown. kahit pa nga yung iba kong kaibigan dito sa CDO eh, minamaliit yung probinsya namin. doon kasi, simple lang ang buhay. walang masyadong ka-ek-ekan. di mo kailangang mag effort masyado pag gusto mong lumabas. kahit naka-shorts, plain shirt, at tsinelas ka lang..solb na! maganda ka pa rin sa paningin ng iba..haha! :D marami rin kasing magandang tambayan dun. if gusto mong mag unwind..may pier na ginawa nang tourist spot. sarap tumambai dun. nakaharap kasi sa dagat..xiempre, pier nga di ba?! tsk. fresh air talaga malalanghap mo. at kung inatake ka naman ng vanity, may tourist spot din dun na pwede kang magpicture2x. may pics nga ko eh. yaan nyo, post ko next time.

hayyy..hope magiging happy ako sa pag-uwi ko doon. basta, gusto ko lang makapag relax pagdating ko doon. cge. mag iimpake pa ko..haha! :D

sooo glad.

finals are over..FINALLY! so it's time to par-tey! no, just kidding.i'm not really the party gurl type. as a matter of fact, been really looking forward to spending  the entire sem break with myself..alone. yeah, i`ll be alone people! well, not exactly alone coz of course i`ll be with my family, duh?!. what i'm saying is that i want to spend this sem break without going out :D actually, my horoscope in facebook says that i should spend some time alone to reflect..be in touch with my inner self..blah, blah, blah. well, don't get me wrong here dear earthlings. it's not like i'm doing this because of the horoscope thing. i've been thinking of being alone too. i feel like i really need it. especially after what i've gone thru this sem. i really need to reflect on what i have learned..

..and also i'm looking forward to watching a dvd of Gossip Girl season 2 and of course, gonna be reading books. yeah people, your girl here also reads..occasionally. O_o

..so i`ll scoot for now. sorry if yours truly is not really updating her blog here for a while now..just really very busy..with FACEBOOK! haha..yeah, adik na ko. so tata for now.

FACEBOOK.

Sinong may facebook sa inyo? add nyo ko..hihi.

kotonkendii@yahoo.com

just got my hair relaxed today [: i really looovee it. and it only cost me 100 php. isn't that cool? so ok. not exactly rich huh? well, who cares?! mahirap na ang buhay ngayon buti nga maganda pa din yung result..at saka kuripot talaga ako so what d heck, screw me.

so i've been a busy bug lately. school works piling up. And we are to have this presentation, it's actually a role play, and we are going to do "Little Mermaid". And i get to be Ariel..arrrgh. they chose me to play the part because they think i have the singing voice of the mermaid. so yeah, i'm gonna be singing "Part of your world" in front of the class and i have to memorize several lines from the movie..grrr. but i enjoy playing the role, really. haha! it's sooo cool to play the bida in the play. it makes me feel so important, for the presentation anyway.

remember the banghay aralin i've told you about? no? so yeah. it's almost done [after many days of major procrastination]. And there's also an additional to-do..[drumrolls puu-lease..] 5 reaction papers for Rizal..haha! talk about excessive work to do. tsk. oh well, i'm sure there will be major attacks of procrastination along the way but ahh.. i hope i can finish all my schoolworks on time. Finals is fast approaching and i've gotta lot of catching up to do. gotta STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!

it's been such a long time since i've been into the mall and a couple of days ago i was able to go there and i was just amazed by the display of Christmas trees there. it gave me that giddy feeling. i felt so excited that Christmas is almost here. i am always amazed looking at all those bright lights shining on the Xmas trees. really, it makes me feel soo soo excited. i can imagine all those people busy buying gifts and other stuff for Christmas. i just love watching those kind of scenarios at the mall. but what i really love seeing are the Christmas trees, really. I don't know what's with those trees that just captures my attention and much more..my heart. i just love to stare at them and just through them i can feel that christmas is really here. i guess they make me feel like a kid again. and really it's the nicest feeling i could have in the world. that's one part that i really like about christmas. soo, how bout you guys? feeling Christmas yet? hehe.

and maybe someday,

i could finally say, 

"this time, i got it right.."

STRANGE FACTS.

* there`s always a little truth behind every "JUST KIDDING".

* a little knowledge behind every "I DON'T KNOW"

* a little emotion behind every "I DON'T CARE"

* a little pain behind every "IT'S OK"

so remember what you see and what you hear 

is not what you always get.

BF Potential surv.

 so i stumbled into this survey in FB
and although i was never really into this kind of stuff
i was very much intrigued with this surv so
i give in..here are my answers.


1.is being handsome a must?
* ahmm..not really..but it's a factor. of course
we want our babies to come from good genes here ayt? haha..

2. smart?
* definitely.

3. preferred Age?
* hmm..3-5 yrs. older than me is the max..1-2 yrs. younger than me is the min ((:

4. preferred height?
* of course, taller than me.

5. How about sense of humor?
* yah think?! haha..of course this is a must.

6. How about piercings?
* hmm..depends if he looks good with them on.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
* hell to the yeah.

8. Pink hair?
* what?! definitely a no-no! what d hell r u thinking?!

9. mushy or no?
* hmm..a bit will do.. hehe.

10. Thin or fat?
* i usually go for the skinny boys
but chubby ones will do..maybe.depends.

11. Moreno(dark) or chinito or mestizo?
* hmm..chinito but moreno..hehe ((:

12. Long hair or short hair?
* whatever suits him.

13. Plastic or metal?
* huh??!

14. Smells good?
* OF COURSE.

15. Smoker?
* nope. na-ah.
16. Drinker?
* hmm..occasionally. only if he's with me
or he'll tell me prior to the "session".

17. Boy-next-door type?
* hmm..will do. not really concern with the type..so, yea.

18. Musically inclined?
* hell yeah.

19. Plays piano?
* yes, i'd like that. but i love guitarists too ((: much more a vocalist.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar
* yeah.

21. Plays violin?
* haha..hmm..if he loves playing vio then, y not.
it's like havin Ji Hoo for a bf..weew.

22. Sings very good?
* what?! are you crazy? of course..yeah.

23. Vain?
* definitely a no-no. amma punch him if he is.

24. With glasses?
* hmm..u mean a geeky glass? well, as long as he's got the brains to match it.

25. With braces?
* nope.

26. Shy type?
* yeah.

27. Rebel or good boy?
* a rebel with a cause.

28. Active or passive?
* hmm..not really getting this.
maybe both, depends on what's he's active or passive for.

29. tight or bomb?
* huh?!

30. Singer or dancer?
* both.

31. conceited?
* NO.

32. Hiphop?
* hmm..nah, maybe not.

33. Earrings?
* i told u already right?! as long as he looks good with them on. duh?

35. dull or stupid?
* double duh?! major NO. duh? agen.

36. Mr. count-my-ex-girlfriends-un

til-you-drop?
* haha..wat?! oh maybe not.

37. Dimples?
* yeeees! :D

38. Bookworm?
* yep..DEFINITELY. i am starting to be one so it'll be best if he is.

39. Mr. love letter?
* if he exists..haha! i'd like a guy like that.

40. stubborn?
* a little won't hurt.

41. Flirt?
* major NO! only if he does it with me though..hmmm.. :|

42. Poem writer?
* sure. as long as he writes for me.

43. Serious?
* a bit.

44. Campus crush?
* hmmm, that would really be hard on my part but yeah, sure, whatever.

45. Painter ..?
* hmmm..a pianist, a guitarist, a vocalist,
a vioinist (is this correct?) and now a painter?! weew! talented much?!
haha. but yea, watever he loves to do.

46. Religious?
* nope, spiritual, yeah. as long as he has FAITH.

47. comedian?
* hmmp..no.

48. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
* both?!

49. Speaks 20 languages?
* can we lower that down to like 3-5?! haha..

50. Loyal o faithful?
* can he be one but not the other?! duh.

im currently hooked with fb's FARMVILLE..yea, nakiuso na rin ako..lol! i admit i was pretty much  a huge anti `bout the the gaming stuff on FB. I thought it was just plain stupid to waste all your time and energy just playing coz for me it was almost like..doing nothing. And of course it would also mean a waste of money for people who don't have their own PC or laptop..like me. But earlier this afternoon, i thought that i oughta give it a try so i played and that's when the magic happens..lol. I was hooked. It was actually fun to have your own make-believe farm and be able to plant and raise farm animals..i got three sheeps, a cow, a rabit and a horse! haha..soo cool. Of course, i`m just starting so my farm still looks a bit plain but ahmm..it will progress..lol!  here's a peek:

how could you turn and just go?
when i'm here standing so cold
now you wanna work it out
tell me what's that all about?
how could you up and move on
like what you have for me is gone?
now you wanna work it out..
--BACK INTO YOU, AMBER DAVIS

so i thought yesterday was like all the ordinary days. nothing unusual. nada.zero.zilch. i put on my face and was really ready to get through the day. i checked my fone to see if there are sensible messages. yea, i usually get nonsense GM`s. And btw, to all airheads out there who don't know what GM means..it stands for group message. got it? ok. So where was i? oh yeah. So i checked up my fone and got a bit irritated when i received a message from i-don`t-know-who and so of course it was an unknown digits. it read "mai?". huh?! that's weird. how on earth did this effin unidentified whatever knew my name? so i texted back, " kinsa ni?" [translation: who u?!]. i sent it twice. after a few minutes it replied saying " aw wla lang, senxa! " [translation: oh nothing, sorry!]. so even if i was irritated i felt guilty for being such a snob. i thought if he [yea, i assumed he was a guy] knows my name then he must be a friend, right? so i was like texting him several messages asking him to reveal his identity. But i was sooo disappointed when he didnt replied to any of my messages.

Afternoon came. i was still bothered by his identity. i kept guessing who could he be because i thought his digits were familiar and then it hit me. my heartbeat started racing as i typed his name on my fone screen..."Rex?". I felt a sudden rush of nostalgia. the memories came rushing back into my head all at once. the movie house..me rushing to meet him..the mall..everything. and then the hurt. the pain of being left hanging. it all came vividly.

08.17.09. i first met him at the mall. he said he wanted to go see a movie. He was a gentleman or so i thought. it never really mattered to me if he was not the good-looking guy i expected my textmate to be. it was way far from love at first sight but i did feel a bit of giddiness. i don't exactly remember what movie we did watched but i do remember him being so nice to say "two tickets ma'am, please" to the lady who sells the tickets. i thought, awww..so sweet of him. And on we went to see the movie inside. We were not able to really concentrate on the movie `coz we were busy with each other. haha! yea, he was not exactly a gentleman but i`d rather not spill out the details here. i`d rather that you keep guessing and make those dirty minds of yours itch.

three days after, more or less. we went to see another movie. we talked, we laughed, we cuddled..blah blah blah..so yah that was about it. Moving on. So at that time, he's fone was broken and it has to be repaired so basically, he can't use it and that would only mean that our communication would be cut off for a while. i just didn't know how long. so that day, we parted ways and even after a few seconds of being away from him, i already got the feeling of missing someone. God, i`m falling for the guy.

it's been a week since the last time i was with him at that moviehouse. i started to wonder that it was weird that he still wasn't texting me because for sure his fone would have been repaired already. i started assuming things but shrugging them away thinking that there must be some really good explaination behind his absence. But another week has past and i was running out of reasons to justify his ways. I was starting to get frustrated about the situation. How could he bear not to see me or even text me to just check if i was ok or if i was even still alive. i even sent him a message on friendster.It took me another week to figured out that he was really avoiding me. Jerk! He didn't even have the balls to tell me right in the face that he doesn't want me anymore. Stupid pig! just plain stupid. The raw truth would have hurt less than to leave me guessing what went wrong.

although i was really hurt that time,and believe me, it felt like i was hit by a bus right in the face or was submerged into the coldest of the coldest part of Antartica, i managed to move on with my life like nothing happened. i haven't shed a single tear and i owe it all to my never-ending painful experiences i've already gone through in my life. sometimes, when you're used to losing significant people in the past, losing someone significant in the present seems to be not much of a big deal anymore. so losing him was..how should i say this, ahmmmm not worth crying for.

And now, here he is again after four weeks. just when i am about to finish picking up the pieces of my, of all the cliches, broken heart. And i'm afraid to say that i still have a thing for him. Just thinking of his smart ways to say or do things, how he makes me laugh and how those eyes stare as if his seeing right through me, as if he figures me out. God help me but i could really fall for all these again. I could fall for him again. well maybe, just maybe. `Coz the last thing i need right now is reiterating my mistakes.

He did tell me that he was really sorry for being such a jerk and yah, he did admit that it was entirely his fault. He even asked me this stupid question "i have nothing to get back to, right?"..i thought " yah think?! "..haha! right now we are still sorting out things and i must say that he makes it much harder `coz he's really the type who doesn't want to talk about things and explaining himself soo, yeah. But i was very forgiving to him, really. I just think that friendship could still work between us. And of course, i still wanna be with him but not the same as before. So that was about my lovelife..haha! (:


tata for now.

there's soo many things for me to do right now and i hate to say this but ahmm..they're kinda major..really. argggh. and i`m like sitting here in front of the monitor typing this nonsense blah-blah. yah..i procrastinate much. so those major things are really my school works piling up like my boogers..yeah---k!


--BIG BOOK for Educ 40 which can wait `til tomorrow although the deadline was like gazillion years ago..so yee.

--Practicum for Educ 40 again. yah this subj turns out to be pretty demanding. hmpf! oh yah which reminds me..i have to give a letter to an elementary school principal for permission like...now!

--Semi-fi on Philo 01 Logic later (1:25 pm) and needless to say dude..i haven't studied YET! yah..good thing CRAMMING exists.

--what else? oh yahh..Report for Econ 20.1. tomorrow which by the way is the one subject i can't totally relate because of the technicality shits. so yah..screw me.

--and also Banghay aralin for Fil 33. and heck! no one taught us how to do a lesson plan yet..sometimes, teachers just expects too much.tsk! and my effin classmates asked me to make one for them too..0_o but they said they're going to pay for it naman..so yee..extra money din and wooo! it's gonna cost them big time..*evil grin*.

SLOW ME DOWN.

Rushing and racing
and running in circles
Moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere

My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world
I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart

Save me
Somebody take my hand, and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flys by
I need you to slow me down

Sometimes I fear that I might dissapear
In the blur of fast forward I faulter again
Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere

All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Passed me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart

Tell me
Oh won't you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flys by
I need you to slow me down

Just show me
I need you to slow me down

The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe, somebody please
Slow me down



..so ye! basically, this song speaks of what i`m going through right now.

BOTH ENDS OF THE SPECTRUM.

at naloka naman ako sandali sa dalawang violent reactions sa previous post ko! nosebleeeeeed!


MR. PANGUY-AB said...

hindi ko talaga gusto si noynoy maging president!
..xenxa na ha..pero meron talagang doubts na makakayanan niya ang position..
not because his father was a hero and his mother was a former president doesn't mean that he'll be the combination of both...
but kung ilelevel lang naman sa ibang mga presidentiables siguro ay mas mabuti nga siya...
:)

nice day..

--napaisip naman ako sa comment mo kuya. Oh well, sa tingin ko naman makakayanan niya. I have never underestimated his capabilities . At saka..marami na rin namang dumaan sa posisyong yan na wala rin naman talagang kaalam-alam. I just think that he is fit for the position considering that he seems to have a good heart and hindi rin naman talaga maikakaila na maganda ang family background niya..[dumudugo pa rin ilong ko..]


at gaya ng sabi mo..mas mabuti siya compara sa iba so sa kanya nako..kasi among them siya rin naman ang d best..nyahaha! (:

thanks sa comment mo kuya.

Yonamaria said...

tama tama! GO NOYNOY! eh kasi nman, eto n yung chance ng Pilipinas para sa pagbabago.

Hindi nman yan sa kakayahan mo, kundi kung gano ka ka determinado, at gano ka ka dedicated sa gngwa mo.

Si Gloria ba nman, uu may kakayahan nga sya, at umunlad nga nman yung Pilipinas kahit papano, pero its still a government of corruption, that fact hasn't changed, so let's give him a chance, like we gave others, (erap etc.)

-uo nga sis..feeling ko talaga [at feeling ko lang naman `to ha?] na siya yung chance of change na yun. I agree..i absolutely agree! hehe..nasa tiyaga at kalinisan lang naman ng intensyon yan. At alam ko si kuya matiyaga naman at malinis ang kalooban. Let's just pray that he will not give in to the massive temptations that will surely come along the way if ever nga magiging presidente siya. I hope he's strong faith will push him through. And of course, he deserves a chance. Siya pa?! Eh yung iba nga na whatever binigyan natin..siya pa kaya?! hehe..





OH KAYO?! reak na jan. hmmp.

At natuwa naman ako ng malaman kong tatakbo si kuya Noynoy [halata bang FC ako?! haha]. Actually, inaasahan ko na ang magiging desisyon ni kuya eh magiging positibo..na tatakbo talaga siya. Di ko lang inaasahan na sa ganun kadaling panahon [tatlong araw lang na retreat] eh nakapagdesisyon na siya sa ganito kalaking bagay. pero para sa akin..di namahalaga yun. Basta masayang-masaya ako na tatakbo siya. At sana naman eh sa darating na 2010 election eh mailuklok siya bilang presidente ng Pilipinas ng maiba naman. Puro nalang kasi kurakot ang pinapaupo..hmmp..bato bato sa langit ang matamaan ay sure ng may bukol sa ulo..haha! [: oh xaxa..di na ako masyadong mangingialam sa pulitika dahil bukod sa wala naman akong masyadong alam..madi-depress lang ako diyan..haha! bleee.

TITITITEXT.

adik na talaga ako sa text. ewan ko ba..nagmumukha na nga akong cellphone eh.tsk!

tatlo na ang text clan ko ngayon..so panu ba? eh di..mapupuno na naman `tong inbox ko sa mga walang kakwenta-kwentang gm ng mga medyo wala ring kakwenta-kwentang mga nilalang. Pero ok lang. enjoy din naman ako. marami kasi tuloy nakakachukaan ko sa text..kilala ako..kilala ko..minsan ko lang nakita..di ko pa nakita..at hindi ko pa nakikilala. Kaya lang minsan talaga medyo nakakairita na. gusto ko nalang i.delete all dahil walang kwenta naman talaga! Kung di nga lang ako naaaliw na marami akong katext ay naku di ko na pagkakaabalahan `to makakatipid pa ako ng load..joke! Di ko naman kasi napipigilan ang sarili kong magpa-load kahit na out-of-budget na.

Nauuso na kasi ngayon ang unli. naalala ko pa noon. Piso sa bawat text ang ikinakaltas sa bawat padala mo ng mensahe. kaya nuon, hindi uso ang "K" lang ang isi-send mo kasi talagang lugi ka. Dapat pag nagtext ka..ubusin mo lahat ng allowable characters para sulit naman ang bawat text na isi-send mo. Pero talagang iba na ngayon..kahit pa magsend ka ng sandamakmak na blank message..oks lang. unli ka naman. Talagang ang kalaban mo lang sa unlitext ay ang mahiwagang battery ng cellphone mo na siyang bumubuhay nito at sa unli mo na rin. Pero ang di ko lang talaga kailanman maintindihan eh kung bakit tinawag tong UNLIMITED kung mag-eexpire din naman?! Eh di limited pa rin yun. Susme! Sino bang pontio pilato ang nagpauso nito at mukhang di naman tama ang itinawag sa kachurvahan ire..hayy..noypi talaga. Eh kung may mali man sa mga sinasabi ko rito eh pasensya na po..eh naghahayag lang naman ako ng aking kinikimkim na pagkalito..hihihi.

Natutuwa din ako na sampung piso na lang ang unli ngayon [sa TM]. Kaya kahit magload ako araw-araw..may matitira pa rin naman sa baon ko. At katumbas ng sampung pisong yon..eh ang walang kamatayang chekahan at gm ang pwede kong gawin.

Strike while the iron is hot ika nga. Di ko kasi alam kung kailan talaga matatapos ang promong `to o kung promo pa nga ba ito..haha! [alam nyo ba?] Pero sana naman hindi na. Kawawa naman kasi ang mga estusyanteng tulad ko na umaasa pa rin sa baong iniaabot ng mga butihin kong mga magulang. Tipid din kasi.


Sige..balik muna ako sa pagti-text..memory full na naman ang fone inbox ko..putcha! ma.try nga and delete all..hehe! o_*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA [:


this day is a very special day
i want to offer this day..
for you, for you, for you..

this day is a very special day
Happy Birthday...Mother.

TRYING TO FIND MY WAY BACK INTO YOU.

so i'll try to put into words some of the things na natutunan ko sa youthcamp ng YFC. I really just wanna share the graces i have received during this once in a lifetime, amazing experience i have with the Lord. Not that it ends there (:


#1
During one of the sessions we had this film showing: THE PASSION. di ko kinaya nung pinagpapalo na si Jesus. Lahat na yata ng tubig sa katawan ko iniyak ko na nung makita ko ang scene na yun. That was the first time i saw the movie and i think that would also be the last. i just can't watch all the cruelty that Jesus had to go through in order to save me. Every beating that He received was all because of me. Every hint of pain that i have seen in Him is all because i was sinful. All because of my sinfulness. Di ko talaga kinaya. I rushed out of the hall with tears still falling down from my eyes. I felt so guilty na sa bawat kasalanan ko..He is beaten! Bawat palo ay dahil sa pagiging makasalanan ko.

#2
God was with me all the way. Sa lahat pala ng oras andiyan siya. Di siya kailan man nawala..kahit pa ako ang nawala. Kahit nung mga oras na pinabayaan ko ang sarili ko na magbisyo. Kahit pa sa kababawan ng saya ko, andun siya. Sa bawat alak na nilaklak ko at sa bawat sigarilyong inubos ko, andun siya. Hindi kailanman nawala.

#3
God loves me and He has a plan for me. He has a unique plan for each an everyone of us. We just have to have an open heart and let him do the wonders. He will never fail us. Kahit ano mang problema and dumating, don't lose faith because everything happens for a reason.



I swear I've learned a lot from the camp kaya lang ito na lang muna ang isi-share ko (: I admit..there were those times when i turned away from him and even refused His love. I was a prodigal daughter. All i ever cared is my selfish desire. I thought i could get on with life so easy even without Him around. But i was wrong. Dead wrong. `Coz life without Him would be ...LIFELESS. And so now i`m starting my way back home. Back to where i belong. Back to where im safe and love. Back in the arms of my Comforter. Back to Jesus.

basta ang all i know is that I`M BUFFED UP FOR THE LORD.

Sana kayo rin..you will find time to welcome God in your hearts. I'm so glad i did.
And with each day..i`ll try my very best to serve God. I know it may take a long time to be the best that I can be for Him but i know He will be with me all the way.. [:

ii <3 JESUS.

LOVE BUGGED!

My lovelife [which is a total ZERO!] is bugging me lately and needless to say..i'm becoming frustrated! 0_O whoo! I feel like grabbing the next guy that will pass by me. darn! i sound soo desperate. help! Ok. it's not like i need a boyfriend pronto [ or maybe i do..heck!]. It's just that all i see around me are happy couples and i'm feelin so left out. Da-haaamn!

Ok. So they say i should wait. Eh kailan pa ba darating si Prinsipe palaka sa buhay ko?! I`m not good at waiting you know. I was never really patient on that field. tsk!

Oh well, baka epekto lang to ng palagi kong pakikinig ng mga mellow love songs these past few days..lalalala. But seriously, when is he gonna come?

KISMET by SILENT SANTUARY.


i just love hearing first this song pag nagsa.sountrip ako.


just soo sweet [:


Didn't mean to take you for granted
Didn't mean to show i don't care
Didn't mean to throw away this once in a lifetime of chance
Being with you

And i'll drive for 2 hours
To bring butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance

This time i surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

Pride no longer has room in me
On bended knees in public i cry
Your name for everyone to know that i love you, i love you
Please hear me now

And i'll drive for 2 hours
To bring butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance

This time i surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

FULLY CHARGED. GAME ON.

So i just got back from the YFC Youthcamp and it was a total BLAST! [need i say more?! haha!]. Superrrr nag-enjoy talaga ako meeting new friends and at the same time learning much about Jesus. Ei super andami kong natutunan..pero di ko na to idedetalye pa dito.

i just hope that i will be strong enough to keep the faith.

*excited din ako sa mga pics..lalalala. [:


oo nga pala..yung crush ko andun din sa camp..haha! yun na!

xo,
PRINCE

iiwan ko muna ang blogsphere for a while.

YFC youthcamp will be tomorrow and i can`t wait..xuper excited to the highest sea level na talaga ito. i just hope na pagbibigyan ako ng uncle ko na sumali..hihi.


at saka..aayusin ko muna buhay ko para hindi naman lahat ng kagagahan ko na lang ang sinasabi ko dito.

mami-miss ko kau. lalo na kayo BECS, MARAI at si KRISTA rin..huhu! muah :X


cookies & cream,
PRINCE.

sinong emo?! ako?!

Hayy! bumabalik na naman yata ako sa pagiging emo. Sa pagiging whatever! hihi.
o baka siguro bored-to-death lang talaga ako ngayon.

Ewan.

`yan lang talaga ang paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa araw na `to.


lumulutang na naman kasi ang utak ko. hmmp. maka bloghopping na nga lang.grrr!
kainis talaga me. supeerrr! haha. watttteeeeveeerrr!

ANO BANG SILBI (ng pag-aaral) KO??

So `ito na. Di ako nakapag-reflect sa sinabi kong awakening sa last post ko. Pero these past few days, hindi lang isang beses kong tinanong ang sarili ko kung bakit nga ba nabubuhay ako? Ano ba talaga ang silbi ko sa mundo? Tamang kalye pa ba ang binabaybay ko? Baka nawawala na ako at hindi na`ko makarating sa dapat kong patunguhan?..tsk! Ilan lang yan sa mga katanungang bumabagabag sa munti kong isipan. Ilang araw na rin kasi akong parang wala sa sarili. Imbes na makinig sa mga ginintuang aral ng mga profs, busy nako sa pagtipa sa keypad ng cp ko. Press send and wait for the reply. Ganun lang ang trip ko tuwing may klase. Pag nakailang check na`ko sa LCD ng cp ko at wala pang nakalagay na one (or more) messages received, saka ko aabutin ang pocketbook sa bag ko at yun naman ang pagkakaabalahan. Sa pagkakaalam ko, nagdidiscuss na yung Math teacher namin ng kinds of graphs at sa Philo naman, palaging binabanggit ni sir yung True or False at..doubtful ata yun. Pagdating sa bahay naman..ai! soundtrip lang. Iniisip kung gagawin ba talaga yung overdue na Big Book na pinapagawa ng Educ 40 teacher namin. Major.


Naalala ko pa bago `ko sinimulan ang semester na `to. May objective ako baka `kala mo..haha!

OBJECTIVE: To study well.
REASON: Para hindi madismaya ang family especially uncle ko.

Pero kalaunan para nalang itong promise. Made (o meant ba?) to be broken. Nawala. Nawala ang purpose ko kung bakit gumigising ako ng maaga. Nawala ang purpose kung bakit binibigyan ako ng baon ng uncle ko at kung bakit suot-suot ko ang uniform ko ngayon habang tinitipa ang post na `to. Nawala na rin ang silbi ng lahat ng aklat na binili ko sa sem na `to. At nawala na rin ang main purpose kung bakit naghihirap ang uncle ko sa pagtatrabaho.


Lost and not found. not YET.


Oo. May pag-asa pa naman na mahahanap ko ring muli ang purpose na yun. Kasama ang Panginoon..hahanapin ko yun. Hindi lang para sa pamilya ko. Hindi lang para sa uncle ko. Kundi para sa `kin. Sa ngayon, yung sa pag-aaral ko pa lang naman ang pilit kong hinahanapan ng sense of purpose. Alam ko, it's obvious. For my future, ika nga nila. Eh bakit?? yung iba nga diyan di naman nakapagtapos pero mukhang kailangan pa nga yata ng shades dahil sobrang bright ng future nila. Nasa pagsisikap lang naman yun. Hayyy..ewan. Ako lang yata nagpapahirap sa sarili ko.


tinatamad lang talaga siguro akong mag-aral. Malapit na rin kasi ang semi-fi.


kayo ba? may advice s mga tulad kong nawawala na sa landas? hahaha.



scat muna ako.



cookies and cream,
PRINCE

AY! NAWALA??

Sa wakas! medyo kontento na `ko sa layie ko! medyo pa lang naman..kahit medyo di ko pa rin ma-feel yung parang *ummmph*..pwede na rin siguro `to sa ngayon. (:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sa wakas at naka-take na rin ako ng special exam kanina sa Math. Nanginig pa ang kamay ko habang sinasagutan yung test paper. Nakastudy (=scanning!) naman ako kaso kunti nga lang. Hindi ko na nga napag-aralan ang tungkol sa linear programming dahil baka sa mental na ang bagsak ko pag pinilit ko pa ang sarili kong intindihin yun..haha! Kaya ayon, nakasagot naman ako kaya lang yung iba hindi ko na binalak na sagutan. Hayy! Sino ba namang Pontio Pilato ang nagpasimula ng subject na `to?? Sabihin nyo nga at ng maipa-salvage ko na kaagad. Hindi ba niya alam kung anong hirap and dinaranas ng milyun-milyong estudyante ng dahil sa kagagawan niya?!! bwesit!

Pero, hind ang walang kamatayang Math frustrations ang ibabahagi ko sa post kong ito kundi ang kachurvahang ito:

LOST: YOUR SENSE OF PURPOSE.

BANG! I swear natigagal ako ng mabasa ko ito sa munting tarpulin na nakapaskil sa labas ng isang building sa school namin. Parang na.press rewind na bumalik ako sa paglalakad pabalik sa kung saan nakalagay ang tarpulin. Napaisip akong bigla. Pero sa susunod na post ko na lang isi-share yung saloobin ko tungkol sa munting awakening na `to. Marami pa kasi akong gagawin..hehe! (: [binitin ba naman??! haha..hmmp..magre-reflect muna ako tungkol diyan. Sabay hanap na rin sa sense of purpose ko.]

UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

MY PAGE IS UNDER REPAIR.

I`M CURRENTLY CHANGING MY LAYIE.

SO PLEASE BEAR WITH THE INCONVENIENCE.

THANK YOU! [:

FLAMES TO DUST.

"i miss you". I long to say these sad words to her. But i guess it would be useless anyway. She's so engross with her boyfriend that i think she forgot that im still here..supposedly, her bestfriend.

MASARAP BALIK-BALIKAN.


Nung hiskul pa `ko, mahilig ako sa mga noyping banda pero ewan ko ba nung tumuntong ako ng college parang nagsawa na ako at nagsimulang tumangkilik ng mga hind-sariling-atin na mga banda. Naalala ko pa noon, napapa-headbang ako agad pag naririnig ko yung CHICKSILOG ng KAMIKAZEE. Napapangiti naman ako pag tumutugtog na ang PAROKYA NI EDGAR. At napapa-emote pag kinakanta ang GEMINI ng SPONGECOLA.

..nakaka-miss din pala.

Kaya ngayon muli akong makikinig at sisimulan ko sa Silent Santuary, ang bandang minsan pa mandin ay pinakilig ako ng todo-todo at nagdulot sa `kin ng munting saya sa tuwing napapakinggan ko ang mga kanta nila. (:

HARANA.


soundtrip mode na naman ako (: at dahil feel kong magpaka EMO ngayon, hinayaan kong ang Secondhand Serenade na haranahin ako. Tama baang term ko? :D .

♥MAYBE

There goes my ring,
it might as well have been shattered.
And I'm here to sing
about the things that mattered.
About the things that made us feel alive for oh so long.
About the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong.



♥YOUR CALL

'Cause I was born to tell you I love you,
and I am torn to do what I have to,
to make you mine.
Stay with me tonight.


♥VULNERABLE

Share with me the blankets that your wrapped in
because its cold outside cold outside its cold outside
share with me the secrets that you kept in
because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside

and your slowly shaking finger tips
show that your scared like me so
let's pretend we're alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know were unprepared
but I don't care


I was born to tell you I love you
isn't that a song already
I get a B in originality
and it's true I cant go on without you
your smile makes me see clearer
if you could only see in the mirror what I see

SHOUTOUT SA FS.


blank ang inilagay ko dun kasi baka mabasa niya (although mukhang hindi ata kasi di nag.iiFS yun..hmp! pero buti ng makasiguro..hehe.)..




SHOUTOUT: i think im in love with my BESTFRIEND.



cookies `n cream,
PRINCE.

CAMWHORING.

..ganito ako pag inatake ng BOREDOM. Eh sa wala akong magawa eh?! kaya naisipan ko na lang na magpa.cute..(cute naman ako dBa? [: )


..kayo na ang bahalang humusga sa mga larawang `to. tsk! buti nlng hindi labag sa batas ang magpa.cute kundi baka sa kulungan ang bagsak ko nito..haha! (:

HAPII FIESTA CAGAYAN DE ORO!

(kainan na naman `to..hehehe!)


Fiesta ng Cagayan de Oro city ngayon. Holiday. WALANG PASOK! Pero ewan ko ba kung anong nakain ko at gumising ako ng maaga, kumain, naligo, at sinuot ang uniform ko at VOILA! i'm ready for school. Ng sumakay na`ko ng motor, tinanong na kaagad ako ni mamang driver kung may pasok ba talaga kami ngayon. Hala! Mukhang nakikinita ko na ang campus na walang katao-tao. Pero tinawanan ko lang ang tanong ni mamang driver. Sinabi ko na lang na "ewan ko kuya, wala naman kasi akong narinig na announcement kahapon na talagang walang pasok ngayon". Tumawa na rin siya. Nang palapit na ang sinasakyan kong motor sa labas ng school namin, dun ko naisip na "tsk! nalintikan na! wala talaga!". Tumawa na naman si mamang driver at sinabing "wala nga" (sige..tawa ka lang..ipamukha mong sumablay na naman ako! tsk! ) . Mga guard lang nakita ko dun, half-closed pa yung gate. Nakita ko pa yng crush ko nung 1st year college na nagtatapon ng basura mula sa internet cafe na pinagtatrabahuan niya. Kinabahan din ako dahil baka makita niya ako kaya sinabi ko na lang kay mamang driver na doon na lang ako bababa sa may Water District sa unahan. Ng makababa na`ko, pinuntahan ko na lang yung friend ko na si Lorraine. Malapit lang kasi ang tinutuluyan niya doon. Doon na`ko nagpalipas ng oras..hehe! Pinag-aralan ko yung chords ng "YOUR CALL" ng The Second Serenade. Tawa ako ng tawa kasi di ako marunong mag-gitara..nahiya ako sandali. Pero pagkatapos kong halungkatin ang make-up kit niya at halos ubusin ang chocolate na inalok niya sa`kin..umuwi na rin ako.

At dahil sa wala akong magawa sa bahay..ito na naman ako ngayon. Tumitipa sa keyboard para isulat ang blog na`to at saka para na rin i-share ang mga pictures ko matapos akong mag camwhoring.











..hmm..fiesta ngaun pero parang Biyernes Santo.

..rarampa na naman ako mamaya..haha! baka may masasagupa na naman akong kainuman..tsk! pero uunahin ko muna yung mga nag invite sa`kin ng kainan..yeah! Mukhang nakikinita ko na ang pagtaba ko na naman..tsk! Pero ok lang..babawi na lang ako (:


cookies `n cream,
PRINCE

SEEMS OK.

i've been changing and changing and changing and changing (you got the idea! ) the layouts of my blogger and FS accounts and so far..i'm still not satisfied..haha! oh well, so far so good naman ang kinalabasan but i'll still figure out kung ano talaga gusto kong design (:


..this has really been a pleasant day because of three simple reasons:

♥got an A sa preliminary exam namin sa Philo O1 LOGIC.
(believe it or not, di ako nakastudy ng maayos sa exam na yun..tsk!
buti na lang at pumasa pa rin ako *evil laugh*.)

♥pumasa din yung Midterm ko sa Rizal (buti na lang! )

at..(drumrolls phuu-leasse!)

♥Sa WEDNESDAY pa ako bibigyan ng Special exam sa Math 10.2 ko..*evil laugh again!*--so sabi ng teacher namin na INC lang ilalagay sa report card namin ( sumimangot agad ako matapos akong magsaya..tsk! ) pero babaguhin din nya yun pag tapos na niyang i.calculate yung grades namin for Midterm..hehe! (:


cookies `n cream,
PRINCE

TIME'S UP!


tapos na ang exam week..kailangan ko ng simulang kabahan. kung ako lang naman ang tatanungin, okey lang na bumagsak. di naman ako nag.effort na mag-aral. pero hindi. kinakabahan ako dahil sa tiyuhin kong bakla. siya kasi ang nagpapaaral sa`kin. hindi naman sa inutil ang mga magulang ko. hindi lang talaga nila kayang tustusan ang pag-aaral ko. kaya eto ako ngayon, nasasadlak sa isang mapait na katotohanan. last chance ko na kasi ito. pitong subjects din ang hindi ko naipasa last sem..tsk! nagloko kasi ang mga teachers ko. kaya ngayon pag pumalpak na naman..di ko na alam kung saan ako pupulutin.
ilang beses ko na ring naisip na okey lang kahit hindi na ako papag-aralin ng tiyuhin ko. meron ngang iba dyan hindi na nakatuntong ng college. maswerte na `ko. pero hindi ko pa rin maalis sa dibdib ko ang takot. takot na baka sa kangkongan ako pupulutin kong hindi ako makakapagtapos. sayang rin ang pagkakataon dahil alam kong maraming magkakandarapang malagay sa sitwasyon ko para lang makapag-aral. Maswerte nga ako. kaya nga ba kahit papaano ay pinag-iigihan ko na rin. ang magpakatino at pumasok sa mga klase ko. masaya ring mag-aral paminsan-minsan. ramdam kong may kabuluhan ang buhay ko..na parte pa pala ako ng mundo. paminsan-minsan sinusundot din ng ako ng konsensya ko. lalo na pag naririnig ko ang malakas na paghilik ng tiyuhin ko tuwing gabi dahil sa pagod. maghapon kasi siyang nagtatrabaho sa parlor para lang matustusan kami ng dalawa kong kapatid sa pag-aaral at sa pang-araw-araw naming pangangailangan. minsan nga naisip ko..kung ako na lang kaya ang umalis? maghanp ng sariling trabaho at pag-aralin ang sarili ko total malaki na `ko. pero hindi. hindi ko magawa. gusto ko kasing patunayan sa kanya na sulit din and pagod niya sa`min. di man ako nakakapaglinis minsan sa bahay niya..at least wala naman akong mababang marka.

kaya kakayanin ko `to. para sa kanya. at higit sa lahat..para sa sarili ko. kung may mababang marka man ako sa midterm ngayon..may finals pa. may pag-asa pa ako ((:

cookies `n cream,
PRINCE

"the hardest to attain is the sweetest to obtain"


isang palaisipan mula sa kaklase kong si Don.

I LAB KUYA BOB.

idol ko na talaga si BOB ONG!

favorite quote:

"ayokong masanay sa mga bagay
na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko"